At dinner tonight this event was brought up and as a family, we discussed it at length. We all agreed it was awful, and I kind of felt like I was walking on eggshells. We talked about how the husband chose to jump after his wife because he couldn't live without his wife and that is why they both jumped. Both of my parents said that while they would certainly not be jumping for joy if the other killed themselves, they would also not follow right behind.
This got me thinking.
It is a noble thing to say that you would die for someone. The sentiments are great. And I truly think it is wonderful that people can feel that strongly about other people. But I also think that it is more noble to live for someone.
To die for someone leaves them without you. And I guess I just question how much of a blessing that really is. I know if this happened to me I would be entirely in awe that someone loved me enough to die for me. But I know too, that I would be angry. I would be angry that they, in the words of Bruno Mars (wooo), caught a grenade, or jumped in front of a train, or took a bullet straight through the brain for me and left me seemingly alone. I would be heartbroken that they were dead in the same way that they would be heartbroken if I died. But even more than that, I know I would blame myself. It would essentially be my fault that they were dead, and I am not sure that I would be able to forgive myself for that. I just don't know that dying for someone (or in this case, with someone) is the best way to express your love for them.
So I say, live for the people you love. Make something of your life. Live in a way that would honour the people you love that have died. Don't put their love to waste. And help other people. If you have been seriously affected by the death of a loved one, find a way to help other people going through similar situations, because goodness knows that they need support. This I think, is the more noble option. It is certainly the more difficult option, in my opinion. Because it is hard to keep going when your heart is breaking and your world feels like it is in shambles. Do it anyways.
Now, prior to this discussion I had not known anything of the event -- I did not know their ages, nor did I know that they had physical ailments. Let me just take a moment here to explain that I do not think this makes the situation any less heartbreaking and awful. Suicide is not an easy topic to think about, talk about, hear about. It will never be. I know this all too well -- it has touched me with its cold and painful hands on more than one occasion. But in light of this event and these further details, I have been left with a few questions.
The article (the link is posted below) does not speak of family for the couple. Does that mean there are none? Regardless, they obviously had many people who cared about them, did they think of how they would feel? What was written within the letters left behind? Were they explanations? Or apologies? Were they blaming someone? Did they feel that they were a burden upon others? Were they only escaping their physical pain (and the emotional strain that I am sure accompanied that)? Recognizing that they were elderly and heavily burdened with physical pains and medical issues, is this an acceptable response from the couple? Was this their only method of escape?
I have more questions -- too many. I can't even begin to decipher them all. It is like a whirlwind of emotion and confusion and pain. I did not even know these people. I can only imagine what the people who did know them are experiencing right now.
My heart breaks for you.
Love,
Kay
P.S. If interested, you can find the article I read here.
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