Covered In Dust

I've had a lot of time to think in the last 24 hours, and I've had a lot of things to think about.

I keep saying how life is so stressful these days, but I've come to the conclusion that it isn't life that's so stressful, it's me. I am the one that keeps putting things off, I am the one who takes on more things than I probably should, I am the one who can't let things go. Life really has little to do with the way things are turning out and I think I need to stop complaining about it. Especially since it is nothing that I can't handle.

I say I'm a Christian, I'm not afraid to tell people that, but half the time I don't live that out and I feel like the hypocrite that all those Atheists out there think Christians are. I'm not okay with this, and I need to make a change. At youth last night we talked about a story in the Bible about Jesus walking on water, and Peter (one of his disciples) walks on the water to meet him, but he starts to sink. Jesus says something along the lines of "why do you have so little faith?" I always took that to mean that Peter lost faith in Jesus, but after last night, my perspective has been completely flipped around.

In the Jewish faith, to be covered in the dust of your rabbi was to be like your rabbi, which was a very good thing. Only "the best of the best of the best" got this privilege. So really...when Peter got out of the boat to walk on the water, it was because that is what his rabbi (Jesus) was doing, and he wanted to be like him. When he started to sink, it was not because he lost faith in Jesus, it was because he lost faith in his own ability to be like his rabbi.

As Rob Bell brought up in his video, it is important that we choose to have faith in God, Jesus, whatever; but it is equally important to remember that He picked us too. He believes that we have the ability to be like Him. Whether you believe in God or not...I think that is pretty cool.

Sometimes I feel like I'm covered in dust. Not in a good sense though. More like I am one of the many trinkets that I keep sitting on my shelf, useless and forgotten. I want to shake off that grime, and be covered in the dust that means I'm doing something with my life, be with my walk with God, or simply following in the footsteps of great people who have made a difference in the lives of people in need.

This is a really controversial post I've got going on here here and I know not everybody is going to like it, or agree with it, or appreciate it; but I think that's fine. I am not writing this so that I get approval from the world, I just needed somewhere to put my ideas down, maybe get some feedback and I don't find "diaries" or journals to be very effective for that sort of thing. I figured since I started this up a couple of days ago, this was as good a place as any to write it. I do, however, hope that if you read this, you get something out of it. If it strengthens your beliefs, whatever those may be, then great. If it changes your opinion of me, that's cool too. If it just gives you something to spin around in your head, that's more than I could have hoped for.

In parting:

Thanks for putting up with me.
K.