Tonight I had a meaningful conversation with a person that means the world to me. We talked about friendships, and the struggles I have in my mind with how strong they are now and what's going to happen when I go off to university. I'm just going to point out a small portion of what he said which I found to be the most relevant.
He told me, "I've found that we can connect with a lot of people. Within those people, we connect fairly well with about ten people. Within those ten people there are five that we connect with just a little bit better, and it is those five people that we need to hold on to."
So I would like to pass along the question he asked me:
It rained today. It rained a lot, and it rained hard. I figured today was as good a day as any to drop another post here.
As I'm sure you all know, the last couple of days have been filled with rumours of the rapture, and I've spent a vast amount of time thinking about it. On one hand, I find it humourous to see how many people believe the world is going to end. I think it is incredibly naive to believe that anyone can predict the exact date and time that our planet is going to come to an end. On the other hand, it makes me terribly sad.
"In every time zone, at the turning of the globe, 6PM comes and goes - then a false prophet is exposed, while God's word is mocked. I am troubled. I haven't had the heart to join in the mocking. It grieves me - arrogant, unbiblical proclamations have real, negative consequences." Dave Silker
I saw this quote on someone's status on Facebook and it hit me just how true it was. Now, I'm guilty of taking part in the mockery of these days, but that goes back to how I find it humourous. That does not, however, give me a valid excuse for doing so. It is not true to my faith, nor to my personal convictions, and for that, I am ashamed.
Just to set things straight, I do not believe in all of these rumours about the days that the believers are supposed to be whisked away or the multitude of days of torture that the rest of the planet is supposed to experience or really any of these statements that people seem so apt to fall for. I just don't think that everybody needs to make such a big deal out of it. Each time one of these claims are made everybody goes all haywire and makes a big deal out of it. Do you really believe that it is going to happen? If you don't, then what is the point in saying anything about it?
I guess I'm just confused as to why all of these dates turn into such a big deal. I survived, you survived, and while we are slowly killing our planet, as far as I can tell, it has survived thus far too.
What do you think? Comment here, send me a message or whatever, and let me know.
I find it odd how one question from a certain person can make me so internally conflicted. The same happens with certain actions made by some people. How is it that these little things can have such a profound impact on my daily life?
Without going into much detail, a friend asked me a simple, simple question and I found myself flopping back and forth like a fish on land trying to decide what I thought it meant as well as what to do about it. It just struck me how weird it is that one person, one action, one question can make me question so much. It seems foolish.
I'm told often that I think too much, and maybe that's where my downfall is. I have no doubt that this is where this is coming from, but my constant stream of thought is making a rather large effect on my life these days with all these small actions and whatnot.
That's really all I've got to say for right now...disjointed and confusing as it may be.
Where do you go when you need to get away? When you need to vent? Is it to your parents? Your best friend? Just a friend? Do you go find a quiet place somewhere, or do you go to some highly populated space so you can be lost in the crowd? Do you search music or books for answers?
I have a lot of questions. I do not expect answers.
This all stemmed from a conversation from a very dear friend of mine earlier this evening about my previous post. After reading his post, which was a small window into his soul, I did a lot of thinking. That seems to be the trend these days, along with writing a lot. I find myself more inspired by the small things. All that being said, what inspired me for this post, was my friend, as well as our conversation.
"We all need an outlet my dear"
I think that is a fundamental principle of being human. Nobody can carry the weight of their whole life on their own, in their own little bubble. It simply is not possible. I used to be the kind of person who would bottle up everything, all the emotions, thoughts...I couldn't, or wouldn't let myself trust anybody enough to share my world. That's the price we pay for taking risks. Now (after more than one breakdown), I realize that having an outlet where I can vent whatever is important to me at any given time, and that's where this blog comes in.
My writing is not the best, my ideas are scattered all over. I will probably read this over later today and wonder what the heck I was thinking, but the point is to get stuff out so I can sort through it better and not just have it spinning around in my brain...so in theory, the flow really shouldn't matter...
What I'm really trying to get at in all of this is that everybody needs somewhere that they can get away, do some thinking. Everybody needs people that they can talk to, people they trust.*** Everybody needs something that takes them to that "special place" where everything feels right. So what fills that quota for you?
***I would like to give a special shout out to C. I guess this is really the third time or something in this post...but this is my formal thanks. He's been a pretty solid rock in my life since a very young age and that means the world to me. I think he's amazing, though he may not agree, and I love him very much. Thank you for being there.
I've had a lot of time to think in the last 24 hours, and I've had a lot of things to think about.
I keep saying how life is so stressful these days, but I've come to the conclusion that it isn't life that's so stressful, it's me. I am the one that keeps putting things off, I am the one who takes on more things than I probably should, I am the one who can't let things go. Life really has little to do with the way things are turning out and I think I need to stop complaining about it. Especially since it is nothing that I can't handle.
I say I'm a Christian, I'm not afraid to tell people that, but half the time I don't live that out and I feel like the hypocrite that all those Atheists out there think Christians are. I'm not okay with this, and I need to make a change. At youth last night we talked about a story in the Bible about Jesus walking on water, and Peter (one of his disciples) walks on the water to meet him, but he starts to sink. Jesus says something along the lines of "why do you have so little faith?" I always took that to mean that Peter lost faith in Jesus, but after last night, my perspective has been completely flipped around.
In the Jewish faith, to be covered in the dust of your rabbi was to be like your rabbi, which was a very good thing. Only "the best of the best of the best" got this privilege. So really...when Peter got out of the boat to walk on the water, it was because that is what his rabbi (Jesus) was doing, and he wanted to be like him. When he started to sink, it was not because he lost faith in Jesus, it was because he lost faith in his own ability to be like his rabbi.
As Rob Bell brought up in his video, it is important that we choose to have faith in God, Jesus, whatever; but it is equally important to remember that He picked us too. He believes that we have the ability to be like Him. Whether you believe in God or not...I think that is pretty cool.
Sometimes I feel like I'm covered in dust. Not in a good sense though. More like I am one of the many trinkets that I keep sitting on my shelf, useless and forgotten. I want to shake off that grime, and be covered in the dust that means I'm doing something with my life, be with my walk with God, or simply following in the footsteps of great people who have made a difference in the lives of people in need.
This is a really controversial post I've got going on here here and I know not everybody is going to like it, or agree with it, or appreciate it; but I think that's fine. I am not writing this so that I get approval from the world, I just needed somewhere to put my ideas down, maybe get some feedback and I don't find "diaries" or journals to be very effective for that sort of thing. I figured since I started this up a couple of days ago, this was as good a place as any to write it. I do, however, hope that if you read this, you get something out of it. If it strengthens your beliefs, whatever those may be, then great. If it changes your opinion of me, that's cool too. If it just gives you something to spin around in your head, that's more than I could have hoped for.
It's raining outside, which is part of the reason why my blog is titled what it is...in case you were curious. I have just been sitting at home all day doing practically nothing. I woke up late, and have been in a relative state of catharsis since then. I played my guitar a little bit and have been on the phone and/or Skype since then and all the while, pondering my life and the workings of the world.
All of the rain today has really reminded me of my time in Quebec. That summer was the best and worst summer of my life thus far, but I am really appreciative for the experience and the friendships that came out of it.It was at this stage in my life that we guessed I have seasonal depression, because I was so upset for the first 2 weeks I was there...all it did was rain. Since then, I've overcome that, and I have come to love the rain and all of the emotions it brings up. Liam, my "little brother" (I am an only child, so I've just adopted people into my family) is the one that really got me to love the rain. We take long walks in the rain, and I think they're great.
A couple reasons why I think Liam is amazing:
Liam knows when I need to talk, and he's great at listening, and I love the fact that that's what he loves to do. I also love that he talks to me. I can see through him, and I like that he's that vulnerable. He doesn't like to be around a bunch of people, and he's convinced that he sucks at communicating (though I don't see that), but he's honest about who he is and what he likes and doesn't like. I also like how much he likes the rain, and it's because it makes him think. I also really appreciate how easy going he is, how much fun he is, and how easy it is to get a hold of him and say "Hey, I need to go for a walk, meet me in half an hour?" and he'll be there. It's fantastic.
Last night Liam's older sister had a campfire down by the beach and we watched the storm roll in over the water. Campfires have the same effect on me as rain. The 9 of us there sat around the fire in the sand, some people playing the guitar and singing, some of us just sitting and listening. We told a lot of jokes and had a lot of fun, but I also got a lot of thinking done. The whole time we were down there, I was convinced we were going to get rained on. Luckily that never happened. It was a great night, and I love my friends and nature.
"I hate campfires. I love them except when things suck and right now, they suck."
So this concludes my first, really disjointed post...I'm not really sure what I was getting at, but I was on Skype with my friend and just decided that I wanted to write about something, anything. The rain inspired me.
As a parting gift, I'll leave you with a song that has my Blog's title as it's name:
While you're at it, if you'd like some more great music, check out Shaggy's Daily Beats. My longtime friend, MrFlawedLogic started it up, and I know I really appreciate it even though I already got a lot of music from him. I help out with it sometimes, but I usually choose to just stay hidden in the woodwork and give small suggestions or ideas...it's more fun that way. In helping with it, I've found that it has the ability expand your musical paradigm just a little, as long as you have an open mind and open ears. Check it out and enjoy!
"In every time zone, at the turning of the globe, 6PM comes and goes - then a false prophet is exposed, while God's word is mocked. I am troubled. I haven't had the heart to join in the mocking. It grieves me - arrogant, unbiblical proclamations have real, negative consequences." Dave Silker
Where do you go when you need to get away? When you need to vent? Is it to your parents? Your best friend? Just a friend? Do you go find a quiet place somewhere, or do you go to some highly populated space so you can be lost in the crowd? Do you search music or books for answers?
All of the rain today has really reminded me of my time in Quebec. That summer was the best and worst summer of my life thus far, but I am really appreciative for the experience and the friendships that came out of it.It was at this stage in my life that we guessed I have seasonal depression, because I was so upset for the first 2 weeks I was there...all it did was rain. Since then, I've overcome that, and I have come to love the rain and all of the emotions it brings up. Liam, my "little brother" (I am an only child, so I've just adopted people into my family) is the one that really got me to love the rain. We take long walks in the rain, and I think they're great.
A couple reasons why I think Liam is amazing:
Last night Liam's older sister had a campfire down by the beach and we watched the storm roll in over the water. Campfires have the same effect on me as rain. The 9 of us there sat around the fire in the sand, some people playing the guitar and singing, some of us just sitting and listening. We told a lot of jokes and had a lot of fun, but I also got a lot of thinking done. The whole time we were down there, I was convinced we were going to get rained on. Luckily that never happened. It was a great night, and I love my friends and nature.